The Cold Penguin

expanding the box

Finding Motivation

on June 27, 2014

So today was one of those days where I just felt like I was dragging.  My eyes were always fighting to stay open, my mind was having difficulty concentrating on anything, and my mind always wander off to think of the sad and desperate thoughts of the dreaded future.

Not that I dread my future, but it seems like my mind can create some pretty bad future occurrences for me when I’m having one of those days.

And yesterday I had an energetic, productive and happy day.

What gets me the most is that I’m mad when I have one of these days.  I get mad at myself for feeling tired.  Isn’t that crazy?

I have a heart condition.  It’s nothing major, but it’s something I have to be mindful of.  And one of the “side effects” of this condition is that I’m going to have low energy days.  When your heart doesn’t work as well as it should, you are going to be tired.  That’s just how it is.

Which is one of the reasons why I am so addicted to working out.  I want to make my heart as strong as possible so it can always do it’s job.  And while the exercise definitely helps, it can not prevent these days.

And we all have these days, healthy heart or not.

So why do I beat myself up?  Why do I get all gloom and doom?  Because, really, if I was just tired and allowed myself to be tired, I think my state of mind would be 100% better.

If I just said, “ok, today is a tired day so I need to take care of myself and rest,” then maybe the gloom and doom wouldn’t set in.  Instead I get frustrated.  My mind craves to do something besides nap, watch tv, read and search the web, but my body says no.  It’s like when you are recovering from an illness and all you want to do is get out of the house, play and do anything (even run errands!) but you don’t have the energy yet to do so.

So instead of moping around because my body can’t meet my mind’s demands, I should change my mindset.  Because no matter how hard I try to will my body to have more energy, it’s not going to happen.  If you are tired, you are tired.  The only solution is rest.

So why not make it a happy rest instead of a sad one?  Why not take the time to enjoy reading, watch a movie, curl up in bed during the middle of the day and not feel guilty?  And if your mind starts racing on things you want to do, just write them down.  Because goodness knows when I do have the energy to take on the world, I have no actual thoughts on what to do.  Isn’t that funny!?   Lots of energy = no motivation.  No energy = tons of motivation.  I really need to flip that around!!

So that’s something I’m going to work on.  Allowing myself time to rest and willing myself to have some fun.

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