The Cold Penguin

expanding the box

To do

on September 19, 2013

Yesterday I posted my list of things not to do.  Today I am concentrating on what to do.  I feel like telling people not to do something leaves them wondering what they should do.  I shouldn’t eat this cholesterol and fat filled treat.  Ok, what should I eat?  I shouldn’t wear this skimpy or sloppy outfit.  Ok, what should I wear?  Or on the more profound state: I shouldn’t apologize so much?  Ok, what should I do when I feel like I need to say “I’m sorry.”?  Maybe I’m alone on this, but if you tell me not to do something then I tend to second guess myself and have a hard time deciding what I should do.  So here’s my list to lessen my confusion from yesterday.  Here’s what I should do:

  1. I should care for my appearance.  Most days I look like I’ve just rolled out of bed, whether I’ve been out of bed for 5 minutes or 5 hours.  Oversized t-shirts and slouchy shorts, disheveled pony tail hair, no makeup – just a mess.  I make the people on What Not to Wear BEFORE the makeover look well-kept.  So, take 5-10 minutes a day to put on clothes that fit, have a nice clean hairstyle (pony tail or not), and at least a little bit of makeup so I don’t focus on every gross blemish whenever I pass a mirror.  And I’m not doing this for others – I’m doing this for me.  I feel better when I look more put together.
  2. I should not hide my hopes, dreams and desires.  I generally don’t allow myself to think about the future.  I’m afraid I’ll get my hopes up and then end up disappointed, so it’s a protection technique on my part.  (Man a psychologist would have a field day with this!) But I do on occasion have a thought that pops into my heads about hopes for the future and desires for the present.  But I don’t voice them.  I squish them down.  Because of fear of disappointment and fear of being judged.  So, I need to start sharing those hopes, dreams and desires.  Even if they are just pipe dreams, they should be voiced.  My voice matters.
  3. I should let myself indulge once in a while without any regrets or punishment.  If I indulge in a big, fancy dessert one night, I punish myself the next day with bland salads and extra workouts.  If I buy myself a new t-shirt, I feel bad that I spent the money and try to skimp and save my pennies to make up the difference.  Why do I feel like I’m not worth a little luxury?  I never go outside of our means, so every now and then, it’s ok to make yourself feel a little good with absolutely no consequences afterwards.
  4. I should do more of what makes me happy.  This is a big one.  I feel like since my husband is working hard all day, I need to spend the hours he’s working doing grudge work too.  But really, that’s not true.  First, he actually enjoys his job.  Second, he wants me to be happy, so why do I not follow that?

To go further into number 4, I read on a blog about how not to be a bored housewife, that if you don’t enjoy housework, make sure to limit the time you are doing it everyday.  So my limit is 1 hour a day.  In one hour a day, over the course of a week, every inch of our house can get cleaned.

But what to do with the rest of the time?  Well, what makes me happy?

  • Exercise – I love to be active!
  • Reading a good book
  • Baking – I tend to shy away from this because baking generally means lots of sweets around the house, but I can give them away, right?
  • Playing with the dog.  She’s so sweet and can always put a smile on my face.
  • Listening to music.  I enjoy music but hardly ever listen to it.  I should dance and sing and be silly – so much fun!
  • Go treasure hunting.  Whether it’s a sale at the mall, a discount store or a consignment shop.  Look for a small bargain (this can go back to number 3 as well – a small luxury.)
  • Plan holiday and event “parties”.  I love doing stuff like this.  I don’t do it a lot because generally it’s just me and the hubby spending time together and I feel it needs to be a big group to be a “party.”  But that’s not true.  Watching a big football game?  Prepare football food and decor just for us.  Whether it’s just game night or Halloween, a few decorations and food can really make the event a bit happier.

I’m sure there are things I’m missing, but that’s a list of the main things I enjoy.  Incorporating more of these activities into my life will make me happier, thus making me healthier, and making my loved ones happier.  And that’s what I should do!

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