The Cold Penguin

expanding the box

Do something

on August 27, 2013

I’m having a hard time deciding what to write about today.  I have a lot of thoughts running through my head.  These thoughts include, but are not limited to, exercise goals, job search, volunteering, friendships, and general feelings of malaise that make me want to just vent about how frustrating life can be.  But I think what I need to focus on is the fact that no matter what life throws our way, we need to follow Nike’s advice and Just Do It.

As you can tell, my mood is less than joyful today.  Many factors are involved in this, including a weird encounter with a volunteer opportunity yesterday.  I reached out to a church-based organization that is looking for help in an area I can definitely help out in.  I got a call yesterday (about a week after I reached out to them), and had a nice conversation with the volunteer lady and we set up a time to meet.  I should note that during this call she did ask me what my current job is, and I told the truth that I was looking for a job at the moment.  No conversation other than that on employment.  Well, a few hours later she called me and basically was accusing me of trying to sell my services to her and the church organization.  What??  No.  I clearly stated I wanted to volunteer my time, had mentioned I had a career-background in this (so they know I can actually help) and at her asking had mentioned I’m unemployed, but never ever did I insinuate I wanted them to pay me.  It was bizarre.  Luckily my cell phone company decided to drop the call a few minutes in so I didn’t have to listen to the insulting conversation and defend myself for trying to help too long.  Needless to say, I’m not going to volunteer with them.

But it got me in a bad mood.  This is not the first bad encounter I have had with volunteering.  The world of volunteering has become as fierce (if not more so) than the employment world.  I cried out of frustration for about 2 minutes after the call, and then quickly bucked up at the dogs urging.  I then got out the computer to do some more searching on volunteer opportunities.  And about 10 minutes into my research I decided to stop.  I shouldn’t have to feel bad for wanting to help others and give my time and resources, and I’ve found a lot of that when searching for volunteer opportunities.  So I stopped.  I’d rather have rejection from the business world instead of the giving world.

So that’s why I’m in a blah mood.  I’m trying not to see the world through dark glasses, but it’s looking a bit grey out there right now for me.  All I wanted to do today was lie in bed, eat my favorite foods, watch tv and read, and waste the day away.  But I fought that instinct.  I let myself lie in bed for 10 minutes after I woke up, then got up.  I ate a healthy breakfast, walked the dog, and went to a strength exercise class.  I even ran a few errands.  All of this I did in a not so happy, but not so unpleasant mood.

Sometimes getting out there and doing things can lift your spirits and sometimes it doesn’t improve your mood at all.  But I know one thing for sure.  If you stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself, you will only make yourself feel worse.  You can always give yourself time to grieve, to express anger and frustration.  That’s a healthy way to be, besides the fact that everyone always tries to be happy all the time.  But too much of wallowing in your negative emotions only breeds deeper negative emotions.  Your grief may turn into despair.  Your anger may turn into hatred.  You may even add more emotions, such as guilt, hopelessness and loneliness to your list the longer you wallow.  So even if you don’t feel like it, get up, get going.  Do something.  You don’t have to do it with a huge smile on your face, but doing it will help you get closer to having a natural smile.

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